Lessons and Confessions

Don’t play “chicken” with a pigeon unless you want to get pooped on.

Naturally Skinny people have no right to tell you that “you don’t need to be on a diet…just watch what you eat” (insert eye roll and a loud lesson on M.Y.O.B.)



 














The more water I drink, the thirstier I am. I smell a CONSPIRACY!!




To get a Tattoo removed will cost you 8x what it cost you to get one put on. F.Y.I.




All clothes sizes are NOT created equal………….and it ticks me off!




I suffer from CBF……Chronic B*#$h Face. While I may look like this

I feel like this….

I apologize for the confusion. (ignore the no-make-up face...i'm working on a new skin regimen)


My Inside Voice is the SAME as my Outside Voice. Don’t tell me to “Shhhhhhh”.

Whatever plans you make or promise to do while drinking, follow thru with when you’re sober. It will teach you a lesson!


I am a BIG KID! If there is a trampoline, I’ll jump on it. If there is a swing, count me in. If there is a wakeboard sitting all alone in the grass, I’ll run up a hill with it and slide down the pine straw bedding. It’s just what I do. And I hope that never changes.

I have a BLACK thumb. Seriously. Hence all the Fake Foliage around my house.




Lately I have worn many hats…..Psychotic Get-Your-Dogs-Poop-Out-Of-My-Yard Lady


(seriously my NEXT step)





Elderly Internet Assistance Technician (my mom got a new computer...)

and my fav, Who’s-Dumb-Enough-To-Pull-Out-In-Front-Of-Me-I Want-a-New-Car Predator

I went to Hob Lob yesterday. It’s where I go to decompress. This is newsworthy because for the 1st time EVER, I walked out of there WITHOUT buying a single thing. Nadda. Zilch. Nothing. (I know, I’m still in shock!!)


I get BLOG envy. More specifically, houses seen on BLOGs. I would love to be daring enough to paint my brand new $15000 kitchen cabinets white or black. Or Stencil an entire wall without the fear of repainting it because it turned out ridicules. Or throw wood on a ceiling for FUN. Or makeover my pathetic dining room table. I blame this all on King Bee. He’s weird. And opinionated. And bossy. And not so supportive of my creative visions.




My name is Queen Bee, and I’m a Coffee-w/ 3 Equals-and ¼ Cup Sugar Free Vanilla Coffeemate Creamer-in a travel mug-aholic. It’s only gotten worse lately. Now I have to have it before bed, too. Makes my sleeping pill kick in quicker. HA!